No Sense In Running
by onyxwaterfall
Summary: [UPDATED 52305 Chapter 7 Actual Chapter]When Faith discovers the world's through other's voices, her own voices begin to tell her a story. A story of Faith and her struggle inside, and out.
1. Prologue

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Hard to say at this moment. Will become apparent as story evolves.  
**Time: **During S7 (Buffy), S4 (Angel).  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Final Note: **Some themes in this story you may find offensive. Warnings will be displayed and if you are against, do not read. You have been warned.

* * *

PROLOGUE

- You know there's no sense in running,  
You know I will find you…**Surrender, Evanescence**

The stairs creaked beneath her feet as she jogged down them, one by one, though hurriedly to get to the bleating telephone. She took the receiver into her hand, slightly out of breath, and as she spoke, her face became more and more serious.

'When did this happen?' On the other end was a face even more serious. But through his voice Buffy could tell this was a very serious situation. She didn't need to see his face.

She looked across the room at the congregated bodies, laughing, socialising, having a good time, and though their expressions were filled with happiness, she couldn't bring herself to join them. Worry, panic. _Don't panic, _she told herself, but it didn't seem to work.

- - -

'What's Dawnie supposed to do?' Willow asked gently as she watched Buffy furiously shoving various items into an overnight bag.

'Stay here, with Xander. I need you to come with me just in case if it's anything magical.'

'But Buffy, we have a house full of potentials, and bringers left, right and centre waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. We can't leave this house, not you, me, Giles, Spike, Xander, or Dawn.'

'We have to.'

'No, Buffy, we don't.'

Buffy glanced over her shoulder to see the calm red-headed female in her doorway. She resumed packing and shook her head.

'Fine, I'll go by myself-'

She watched her as she zipped up the bag and headed towards her. 'No, Buffy, I think you're missing the point, we need you-'

'And so does she, Will.'

Willow took the bag into her hands, taking it from her best friend, and looked into the blonde's eyes, her own full of anxiety.

'I think you're blowing this way out of proportion, Buffy.'

'And I don't think you're being rational. We need her. But…she needs me first.' She looked back at her friend, apprehension plastered across her face like paint to a wall. 'I have to go.'

Willow looked at her a moment, then at the hand that reached out for the bag.

Buffy took hold of it, slid past her, and hurried down the stairs, only to be stopped by Xander at the bottom.

'What's up? Where are you going?'

- - -

They all congregated in the kitchen, worried, straight faces across every face in the kitchen. 'I should be…' she made a face. 'Two, three, maybe four days at the most.'

Xander piped up, leaning back against the table. 'By yourself?'

'We already talked about this, Xand. It's too dangerous for any of us to leave the house, if one of us has to go, Buffy's going alone. I'm not leaving a house full of potentials unprotected,' Willow explained, her voice sombre.

'Don't you think someone should go with you, though?' Xander suggested.

Buffy nodded slow. 'Yeah, but…as Willow said…and she's right, you guys should stay here, keep watch over the potentials. Continue training, finding out anything you can.'

Darkness was beginning to take its reign over the city for the night, and as she glanced out of the window she thought to herself. 'Better be out of here, if I'm gonna make it before the day's over.'

She looked over at Willow, who nodded calmly, agreeing to her comment. 'Just…take care, alright? Come back all…safe and soundy. So we can…get all dead and woundy when this apocalypse comes.'

She smiled a little and nodded. 'Will do. Be safe, you guys. I'll be back soon.' They all watched as she left the kitchen, and as she left the house, they stayed at their positions in the kitchen, all seeming to look into air, at nothing in particular.

'Why is it that every time someone leaves, I wonder whether or not they're gonna come back at all?' Dawn finally said.

Willow looked up at the willowy girl and smiled a little. 'Try not to worry. She said a couple of days, Dawnie.' Everyone began to disperse from the kitchen, and she leant a hand upon the counter. 'Just…try to think about what we have to do here.'

Xander took her by the waist. 'Yeah…we all have a job to do. And yours is to find activities for the potentials to do whilst we pretend to read hefty, ancient texts and go "ah hah!" at every ancient-looking word.'

She smiled a little at him as he led her into the lounge. 'I hope that's all we have to do,' she muttered to herself, as Xander walked on, and she stayed back, looking out of the window at the darkening street.

- - -

Buffy shifted down into first as she rolled up at a set of traffic lights. She dialled a number in on her cell phone and pressed the receiver to her ear. 'Hey, it's me…yeah…I'm on the road. Expect me there in a couple of hours.'

She ended the call and dropped the phone on the seat, and headed off.

TBC

- Hope you will continue to read. Please give any feedback, I wanna know what you think!


	2. Chapter 1

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Hard to say at this moment. Will become apparent as story evolves.  
**Time: **During S7 (Buffy), S4 (Angel).  
**Rating: **R  
**Final Note: **Some themes in this story you may find offensive. Warnings will be displayed and if you are against, do not read. You have been warned.

* * *

CHAPTER 1 

- My heart's been in this pollution, for too long and  
I belong to no one else…**No One Else, Operator **

I always wondered whether or not the cigarette butt knows where it's goin' after I'm done with it. I watched the end of the white stick, and the orange glow, trying not to think about where I was getting' my next packet from. Yep. Last one. I tried desperately to save it, but no such luck.

Her cool skin touched mine and I glanced her way. 'Gimme a drag, Fay,' she said, her raspy tone demanding.

I passed it her way, allowing her to suck off the end a few moments. I watched the glow in her eyes, the reflecting lights of the streets a dull glimmer in her eyes.

I took it back and slid down into my seat a little. 'Thanks,' I heard her say, her mind and everything else focussing on getting us out of here.

My mind began to do a little body check on her. Her brown hair was tied back into a tie back, and silver hoops played at her neck, her roll-neck swallowing her neck up.

She had such amazing features. Scared the shit out of me because she had this fierce look on her face all the time, sorta like scary jail-bird, 'I could bust you' look. She wants something, people have no choice but to say yeah, because her temper flies and you won't see daylight again, simple as.

It's kind of incredible, though. I look at her and see this…wicked strength in her. Like, she's made of steel. I'm watchin' her hands clasping the wheel and I'm automatically safe, just cos…I know she has control, and everything's gonna be alright. Cos she says so.

Seems kind of dumb really. Depending on shit cos someone 'says so.' Isn't that what weak people do?

Seriously. She formulates it all and I actually believe in her. It's kind of weird how I do. But I let her control me, and it's all okay.

Had this whole 'I don't need anyone' thing goin' on before, but things changed. I met Jesse.

I didn't realise I'd been staring and she glanced over at me, watched a moment, then chuckled.

'Your eyeballs stuck or somethin'?' she said, looking back to the road, then at me again, as I shuffled around in my seat a little. I shook my head and threw the cigarette stub out of the window, giving it a thought before I flicked it. She reached towards volume dial on the stereo and turned down the blaring music. 'You're thinking.'

I ran my fingers back through my hair, exhaling as I did. 'Erm…'

'Second thoughts?'

'Are you kiddin' me? We had to get outta there, ain't no second thought about it.'

Silence. She clenched her jaw and reached for the volume, turned it up again. She rested her elbow on the open window frame and tapped her fingers calmly to the music on the stereo. She liked a lot of rap.

I glanced at her again, my eyes scanning over her hands and the silver jewellery on her fingers, wrists. She caught me and shuffled a little. 'Itchin' for a cig?'

She'd caught me off-guard and I woke up a little. 'What?'

'Hungry?'

I sat back and contemplated this. 'Could do with a quick fix, actually.'

'I said hungry, not horny, you daft chick.' She tutted at me and then smiled to herself, amused at my naughty tendencies.

So here's the deal. We both escaped. From the penitentiary system. Escaped convicts, fugitives here we go. Seriously. We escaped. This afternoon. It was kinda creepy, kinda cool. Everything was planned out, ready to go. Can't believe we actually pulled it off.

See I always believed I could get out of jail (of my own accord) if I wanted to. But Jess…she said she needed to. Otherwise her life would be ended before the end of the month. So she said.

It was a long story. First segment was in the yard, I was liftin' some weights, mindin' my own business. Suddenly this woman's yellin', screamin', she's way whacked…mental, psycho. Freaked out at nothin'.

Funny thing. I hear her a couple of days later, in her cell a couple down from mine, yellin' her lungs out at hell knows what. Some guards collect her, don't hear of her for like, a week or so. Then news comes back to us, this woman's killed herself, in the prison hospital, bed sheets, slipknot, it's a self-explanatory deal.

Strange, I'm thinkin' to myself. Woman never seemed crazy before. Actually she was quite young, teenage girl, around nine-teen I'm guessing. Doesn't seem disturbed AT ALL. But then one day she just goes mental? Nah.

I wrote Angel a letter, askin' him to come down and see me. I told him I was a little itchy about the situation for the girl. Dunno why, nothing to do with me, but…just seemed so weird.

He came over like, two, maybe three weeks on, and we talked. Not about much. Just that demonic activity shouldn't be ruled out, but just to keep an eye in case if it started with one of the other in-mates.

I did. Keep an eye. Seems it didn't help though.

- - -

The prison cell bars made shadowy patterns on the cool concrete floor, and the streetlight shone out, allowing me the tiniest percentage of light. Another one of those nights where sleep wasn't an option. My mind wanted awake. So I just stared at the shadows on the floor and the walls, looking at how they never moved, not ever.

But then something distorted the shadow and I frowned.

'Ah, I remember all those sleepless nights,' a voice came from the darkness, sounding unusually familiar. 'You wanna sleep but your mind wants to wander. Just could NOT get over how much thoughts ruled me.'

I looked up into the dark space, wondering what the hell was going on. I sat up hurriedly, my eyes darting back and forth the open space in the cell. I tried to examine the shadows. Then I saw. I sat up, swivelled round and saw.

'What?' I said, my voice a little gravely from the lack of speech that day.

'Can't think forever, Faithy.'

I hopped off the bed and watched as the form began to pace. 'How…?'

'Thinking won't get you anywhere.' It paused. 'Specially where you're goin'.'

'…Dreaming?' I muttered to myself as I watched a smaller form pace up and down my cell territorially.

I saw it stop and look at me, I'm guessing, taking in the word I had muttered beneath my breath. 'Oh no, no, _no, _Faithy. Dreaming? No, no, no…You have a lot to learn, Faithy.'

I squinted at the body before me, standing before me, arms folded, all calm and… nonchalant.

'Buff…'

'No.'

We stood in silence for a few moments, her just looking at me. Me just…dreaming?

'I don't really…understand…'

'You know what? All this thinking still doesn't help you understand anything. Tough luck, it's not like it's gonna get you anywhere. You're stuck here…they're out there. And you don't have any idea.'

'Any idea…about what?'

'About what you're gonna face.'

I furrowed my eyebrows. What the hell? What was I gonna have to face? Face up to my crimes? Am I not doing that? Seems everyone's starting to talk in crossword clues. I don't get it and I'm standing here wondering why the hell I'm staring at someone who couldn't be in LA. Not right now.

'There you go again. Thinking it through.'

'What are you?' I finally asked, wondering still how I was staring at blondie and we weren't rippin' out each other's guts.

'Part of your thoughts.'

'Yeah? Since when did my thoughts start getting' up and walkin' around?'

'Just let her know it's nearly time. That you or no other has the strength, nor time to defeat this. You can't escape this time. Not you. Not anyone. Because if you try to leave…it'll follow…Count on it.' A white light materialised and took away the figure standing before me.

I sat down on the camp bed, feeling the hard springs protruding harshly through the mattress. I didn't understand.

- - -

I don't know how she knew. But it seems she had no hesitation in letting me know…her troubles.

Liftin' weights and watching everyone around me, becoming more cautious as the days passed, those words circling my head continuously reminding me that time was 'running' out, and 'strength' wouldn't help.

But she approached me and I was astounded at the weights she started lifting. I dunno if she was just freakishly strong or…had some sort of supernatural strength goin' on, but…seemed unbothered by the fact that I was staring her down.

'Jess,' she muttered.

I blinked. 'Er…Faith.'

'You know how important this thing is, right?' she finally said, simultaneously concentrating on the weight training.

'What thing?' I asked her, letting my weight down to the floor.

She sat back and rolled up her sleeves. Come to think of it, chick had an impressive set of triceps. Slender but present.

She wiped her brow and sighed out a breath of air. 'You know.'

I watched her a moment, her chocolate complexion glistening in the summer heat. 'Erm…I don't actually know.'

She eyed me a moment, before lifting with her right arm. I watched her a moment and she worked on her right. I don't know if she intended to answer or what, but I have this wicked obsession with needing to know everything. Moment someone suggests something, I have to know. Call me nosy. Whatever.

She caught me still lookin' at her. Not liftin' my weights. Got a little worried she might've just wanted to start something with me. But when she put the weight down, stretched out her arm and pulled her hair out of it's tie-back, then put it back up, I realised she wasn't interested in the brawls and bitching. She was being serious.

She leaned in closer to me and lowered her voice. 'You're one of them, right?' she mumbled under her breath, glancing around, just to make sure she wasn't being watched herself. 'It's just…I heard you're one…of two…'

I watched her intently, waiting for her to finish talking.

'Slayer,' she said to me quietly.

I sat back a little. 'What?'

'I know, Faith. My watcher told me.'

'Your watcher?'

'Yeah.' She cleared her throat as someone walked by and watched them move away from us. 'I'm a potential. Not yet been called…but…lined up, if you get me…'

I sat, a little surprised. Potential? 'So…what you're next after me?'

She looked at me a moment, I think unsure of what I'd just asked.

'Do you know how the system works?' she asked me gently, beginning to lift weights again.

I looked at her lifting. Explains some.

'Yeah. I die, you get called, simple as.'

She shook her head.

'There's hundreds of us. Well…were, hundreds…we're being offed, one by one…murdered, destroyed, cos…the biggest evil's comin' to town. Bringers…these weird dumb and blind guys, they…work to destroy us – potentials. And…you, IF they can get to you.'

I had begun to lift weights once again, but stopped for a moment. 'So, wait; back up. Potential _slayers, _right?' She nodded and I continued. 'Being killed by bringers?' Again, she nodded. 'And…the biggest evil's trying to kill us, why?'

- - -

I put down my tray on the table and slipped into a seat beside her.

'Ever heard of the First? Strongest, most powerful evil existent ever. Trying to take over the world, using Bringers, and some apparent other immortal forces of darkness, not sure who exactly, but someone. Gonna start a war. Very soon.'

'So…the First…what is it, like a demon?'

'No, no, it's evil. The essence of it. Only its…abstract, can't be touched. The First Evil can be any dead person it wants, and it comes to people, talks to them. But that's all it can do. Can't touch them, hurt them, physically. Deals in words. Makes you believe stuff.' She chewed on a mouthful of goo and begun to talk again. 'Hear about the in-mate who hung herself?'

I nodded, chewing slow on some food.

'Potential. First got to her.'

'So…it made her…'

'Go crazy.'

'No sh-'

'It's all true. Hailey. Knew her since I been in. She was a potential alright. Worried that Bringer's would somehow get to her in here. I told her it was kind of hard considering they'd have to get past all the guards. Told her she was safe inside.' She shook her head a little. 'Girl was scared out of her skull. Said she couldn't hack it. Needed to get away.'

I figured it out. The First had paid me a visit. Explains a lot of things. So I wasn't going crazy. Thank fuck. Or at least not right now.

'But if it's true and this thing said that we don't have the time or strength, we can't hide; where the hell do we go? Are these Bringer's strong dudes?'

She furrowed her eyebrows and paused in chewing. 'It talked to you?'

Silence.

'What makes you say that?'

'You just said it said there was no time…I never told you that…'

Crap. 'It might've done.'

'Shit…who'd it materialise as when it came to you?' It worried me slightly that she was smirking a little at the thought of the First Evil coming to visit the locked up Slayer…powerless.

'Doesn't matter- what do _we _do?'

She swallowed her mouthful of food and put down the cutlery, shoved the plate forward a little and cocked her head away from me, signalling me to move in close to her.

'We escape.'


	3. Chapter 2

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Hard to say at this moment. Will become apparent as story evolves.  
**Time: **During S7 (Buffy), S4 (Angel).  
**Rating: **R  
**Final Note: **Some themes in this story you may find offensive. Warnings will be displayed and if you are against, do not read. You have been warned.

Also, thanks so much for your feedback! Keep it coming! Thank you :)

* * *

CHAPTER 2 

- Though I've tried, fallen I  
have sunk so low…**Fallen, Sarah Mchlachlan**

'And that's your answer to all our problems; escape? Jess, I'm in here because I need to be.'

'Will you just listen to me for a second?'

I crossed my arms and leant against the cool brick of the prison cell.

'Right, I've been going over the perimeters, and it seems we got one of two....'

'What kind of perimeters exactly do we have?'

'Well…' she said, widening her eyes, showing me she was sick of me interrupting her. 'I talked to my Watcher. He's been trying to get some useful information on what's goin' down at the Hellmouth, activity and so forth.' She took a deep breath and licked over her lips, leaning forward as she sat on the uncomfortable camp bed. 'Apparently potentials from all over the world are gathering down in Sunnydale. Revello Drive, the place to be, and apparently that's where this other slayer…'

'Buffy…' I started, trailing off before I'd even got going.

Jess seemed surprised. 'You know her?'

I looked up from the floor, unaware that my gaze had even fallen to this place. 'Just a bit.'

She nodded and pulled her feet up onto the camp bed, beneath her body. 'Right, so we go there-'

'No, we can't go there.' I shook my head defiantly.

She looked up at me, her hands spread. I think she was wondering why. Simple reasons. But I didn't wanna tell. Digging up the past wasn't something I intended to do, not with anyone. Ever again. Angel was enough. S'all I need.

'Why not?'

'What's the other choice?'

'Faith, I really think we should-'

'Ok, look, I can't do this. I can't just escape outta here, and not expect to be followed. I'm a murder convict-'

'Yeah, so am I, Faith.'

'Really, who'd you kill?'

'Not the point.' She inhaled and wiped her mouth over with her hand. 'You're a warrior, Faith. A fighter. You're the one. Listen, this apocalypse ain't just coming for Sunnydale, nah. This time it's visitin' the entire world, so you're gonna have to fight at some point, whether we go to Cleveland or…San Francisco. And I know that whether it be next week, tomorrow, tonight, even…I ain't stayin' here, no way. I'm not gonna wait for one of those fuckers to come and get me, I'm outta here. As fast as I can, and you're coming with me.'

'No, I-'

'I am NOT dying in jail, Faith.' I looked into her eyes and they pierced mine. I could feel the heat burning in her eyes. She wasn't ready to die. She was ready to fight.

'Thought you told your friend that it was safe inside…'

'I used to believe that…my watcher is one of a handful that are left…they're offing them as fast as they are us. But they are coming after him, and sooner or later they're gonna find me…and when they come for me, they'll get you too.'

'What makes you so sure?'

She rose from the camp bed and stormed towards me. 'Take a look around, Faith! We are STUCK. Five by five metres, four walls, a camp bed, photo of your dog and a TOILET…no door. They catch us here…we're dead. No second chance. We have to escape now, while we can.' I could see her clenching her jaw as she waited for my response. 'C'mon, Faith…I can't do this alone, I won't.'

I couldn't. I always told myself I could escape jail easy if I wanted to, but…I'd gone too far. I was a psychotic Slayer on the loose. God, if that was to happen again…

'Better go slit my wrists now, then. Before the bringers get to me…' she said bluntly as she headed for the cell door.

'No, Jess, just…hold up.' I sighed out a breath and scratched my scalp. 'Maybe…maybe we should stop off at Angel's first, just to gather the crew.'

'Angel?'

I hesitated a little. 'He's a…we're gonna need him, if we're fighting this battle. Also, we'll probably need a place to stay.'

She looked at me, standing in the doorframe. 'You sure?'

I hesitated further. Not really. 'No…but I don't wanna die in my prison cell either.'

I could see a smile beginning to appear on her face as she approached me once again. 'Does this mean…?'

'I'm in.'

She approached me, raised her open hand and I hit it with my own. She smiled and nodded calmly.

- - -

We worked at it for days and nights on end. We survived on just three hours of sleep a night. We trained, talked and plotted for sixteen straight days. Time was something we didn't have. So we used it as wisely as we could.

I held the phone to my ear, and exhaled.

Listening to his words was like listening to the talking clock. Not really listening. I hear, though. He talked and talked, until I finally piped up. 'Step away from the glass, Wes.' He squinted, asked me what I'd said, and I repeated.

And crash. I was suddenly on the other side of the plexi, and jumping out of a window, and I don't know how, but she was waiting there with the car, just outside of the gates.

Her foot floored the accelerator literal milliseconds after I'd closed the car door. I glanced behind at the guards leaning out of the window, and Wes…also leaning out.

I looked ahead of us and breathed a sigh of relief. We, did it.

- - -

The rumble of the ballsy engine rolled beneath us as she pulled up outside an apartment block. The neighbourhood seemed pretty rough, though, they all seemed the same, of what we'd seen since escaping.

She pulled the keys out of the ignition and sat back for a moment, and ran her fingers back through her hair, disturbing the way her fringe lay against her forehead. Her skin glistened because of the summer heat, and her eyelids fell shut as she leant her head back against the headrest of the seat.

I watched her a while, just taking in her. This sight before me. She reminded me strangely enough of…well…me. Tired. Tired of running. But we both do it. And we do it well.

But we do it too much.

'Can I ask you a question?' I asked quietly, followed by me turning to face her little, and pulling my leg up underneath my ass.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. 'If it's "do me," screw you. I'm tired.'

I chuckled at her sense of humour and looked down into the palm of my hands. 'Nah, don't be silly, I just…wanted to know…' I paused and drew in a breath. 'When you murdered…was it…deliber-'

'Faith, I…' She suddenly sat up and reached for her box of cigarettes, only to find it empty. She huffed and screwed it up, looked ahead out of the windscreen, then got out of the car.

I followed, slamming shut the door after me, just as she had done. I saw her lean her arms upon the car, and rest her head in it. She was tired. It was apparent in every motion, even in her facial expression.

I followed the car round to where she was, and she looked up, glanced at me, then headed in the opposite direction. She was headed for a house, I'm sure of it, but why she was hurrying to get away from me, I don't know.

I caught her up and pinched her. She moved her arm away from mine and shoved the car keys into her pocket. _Fine, play it that way, _I thought, inwardly annoyed that she wouldn't share. 'Okay, at least tell me why we're here and where we're goin'…'

We walked in silence for a few moments, the scuff of my boots loud on the concrete pavement. Hers too, until she opened her mouth to speak. 'Faith…there's just one thing I need you to do for me, no questions asked, otherwise…we gotta go our separate ways.' She continued to walk and I gazed at her, beginning to worry she wasn't the chick I thought she was. Sure, we were both murderers. But what do we got if we're not honest?

'Jesse, I don't…'

'I need you to believe in me.' She gazed out ahead, concentrating on where she was headed.

I walked beside her, one; worried at where we where goin, two; frightful that where we were goin' would result in someone's death…or…somethin'.

'What- believe in…'

She slowed her pace to an eventual halt and looked out ahead, the sheen on her skin a multi-faceted diamond like glisten all over her body. 'Faith…' she sighed out, tiredness even apparent in her voice.

'Jess, this is just too…'

'Just listen 'a me,' she said solemnly, her calmness a slight element to rendering me anxious.

'Jess I dunno what to make of this…'

'Faith, please, for god's sake, shut up.' I closed my mouth and she gazed into my eyes. A couple of seconds passed and I didn't understand why she hadn't said anything.

When she moved in close to me, I dunno why, but my heart freaked out. Beat triple time on me or somethin'.

But when she reached both hands up to my face and stepped in close to me, butterflies in my stomach told me to remain calm. Yeah…better said than done.

I could feel her body heat as she pressed both palms to my cheeks, and stared intently into my eyes, her chocolate brown pools a mirror of mine. And when she pressed her forehead to mine, I let my eyelids down. I wasn't anxious, or nervous…I was scared.

'Look at me.'

But I couldn't. I clamped my eyes shut, as tight as I could…worried this might not be what I expected.

'Faith…' And for the first time I actually listened to her words…her voice, echoing in my weary ears…the beauty of it…its similarities to mine…

I let my eyes open to the sight of her, and all that anxiety I had subsided. The speed at which it dissipated moved me; how was I scared of this and then not all in the space of a couple of seconds?

She looked at me, just inhaling, exhaling and so forth. 'You know me.'

_You know me…? _What was she even trying to say? I opened my mouth to speak, but the words seemed to stay stuck in the back of my throat.

She moved away from me and continued to walk. I hung back, just absorbing what had happened there. _You know me…_

We finally reached a door, leading into an apartment block. She pressed a button and stood back, glanced upwards. We'd been standing there for a minute or so, and she decided to try again.

'Not home…?'

She looked at me, then back to the window, way up.

'Faith, I need you to stay down here, alright?' she told me determined, I don't really know at what, but the smashing of the door and her disappearing out of sight seemed to happen all too quickly. I had no choice but to do as she said.

I had a look down each direction of the road. Empty. Darkness. Yeah, and what's with that? Haven't seen sun for like…days…

- - -

She turned the engine off and removed the keys from the ignition, got out of the car and locked it, all in one swift motion. In few seconds she was at the hotel foyer, strolling in, seeing a group of people convening, talking…briefing themselves. She automatically guessed it was about Faith, but soon her curiosity was informed.

'If we don't do something about this soon, we're not gonna get him back. Faith was our only hope,' a tall, dark and stunning guy said as he loaded what looked like a shotgun or a tranq-gun from a distance.

She took a step down a stair and piped up. 'I hope you're not planning on using that on Faith.'

All at once the heads were turning to see where the voice had come from, and an uneasy silence fell over them all.

'Buffy, I hoped you'd come,' Wes said, beginning to approach her.

She nodded and walked the rest of the space between them. 'I headed out as fast as I could. Any updates?'

Gunn and Fred headed her way, they themselves equipped with weaponry. 'Just that a girlfriend's skippin' faster than we can track,' Gunn told her, closing in the gap between them, just as Buffy had done.

'And we don't know how we're supposed to find her now that she's gone,' Wes added.

'What exactly happened?' Buffy asked, folding her arms across her chest and looking at the rest of the group.

'I headed over there earlier this afternoon, hoping to get her help on getting rid of Angelus…' Wes continued, though was quickly interrupted by Buffy's anxious tone.

'Angelus?!' She raised her hand to her head and clenched her jaw. 'I don't understand…'

'It's a long story,' Fred told her worriedly.

'Well you'd better put it short; Buffy Summers dealing with the long is like a mouse trying to call truce with a cat,' came a bellowing, yet very female voice from the top of the stairs.' Cordelia stood at the top of the stairs, looking down on them all, seemingly pissed off. 'She's too impatient.'

Buffy looked up at Cordelia, and pouted. 'Wow, and there was me about to comment on how much you'd changed. Tough; it seems once a brat, always a brat.'

'What do you know about me, Summers?' she sneered, grasping the banister with a hand, the other upon her stomach.

'I know that you should have seriously considered turning blonde…people would take you less seriously…not that they ever did-'

'Still haven't got a life, I see…'

'Oh please, help me fight my war,' she said sarcastically.

'Okay, seems we're creating another one here, ourselves,' Gunn chimed in, looking at the other two wide-eyed.

'I don't have time for these petty disagreements,' Buffy muttered beneath her breath. 'Explain to me in the car.'

'Where are we headed?' Wes asked her, as she began to head out.

'I can sense her. C'mon.'

Gunn raised his eyebrows and followed the two heading out. He moved towards Fred and lowered his voice. 'Next she's gonna be tellin' us she sprouts fangs and has a fetish for full bodied warm blood, and her skin doesn't work too well with the sun.'

Buffy glanced over her shoulder at him, and shook her head. 'Just remember that I'm on your side; I'm the good one here.'

They both looked at her as she smiled a little back at them.

- - -

I could barely make out the street patterns anymore as the darkness spread far out across the city. The street lamps were dim and neglected, and the poor light shining from just above me on the front door of the apartment block was flickering. Almost out.

I'd been waiting for a long time. Didn't know how long. I didn't have a watch and I didn't like to keep track of time anyway. Slowed me down.

Couldn't hear any noise. Didn't have a clue why I had to wait so long. What was she _doin' _up there, anyways? How come I had to stay downstairs waitin' out?

Sod that.

I took the stairs three at a time, havin' no idea where I was headed, though I didn't really need to worry about that when I saw the open front door and Jess on the floor, her back to me. I walked in slowly, my eyes darting from place to place, checking it was alright to go in. but then I realised there was someone in her arms.

She sniffled and looked up at me standing beside her. She looked back down and my eyes trailed over to this still body she was holding.

'Who is…I mean…' I exhaled slow. '…Was…he?'

She sniffled a little and wiped a falling tear from her face. 'Gregory…my watcher.' Her voice was low…tear-filled…it sounded dry.

She held his lifeless form in her lap, her arms around his head. I looked down at his body. His shirt was drenched in blood (his own I'm guessin'), his hands the same, but dried…

'Who did this?'

She sniffled back yet more tears and through clenched teeth let me know it was 'them.'

The Bringers?

'Bringers?'

She reached down to the bloodstained shirt and touched it, so gently. I'd never seen her this way before. Seeming vulnerable, as if she'd lost…

'The only person who ever cared about me…and he's gone…' Her voice trailed out and I didn't have a chance to take this in before something large, heavy and metal hit me in the back and sent me flying across the ransacked apartment.

I groaned, the frickin' pain a sudden rush to me; what the…?

'You knew I'd come.'

She moved from underneath Gregory and stood slowly.

'You waited here, knowing I was coming, knowing I would find him, knowing that you'd get a chance to kill me.' She inhaled. 'Well, not like this. His death isn't gonna be in vain. And mine isn't gonna be at all.'

'No,' I started as I got to my feet. 'Not unless I go with you.' She glanced my way and the Bringer took his chance to attack her, but I ran to him and knocked him to the ground, and stole the big metal (AXE I discovered it was; Jesusin' eh, he could've axed me!) from him, and landed it straight into his head, and listened to the splatter of juices as I breathed.

I looked at it for a moment, wondering why it looked the way it did. It could see us, even though it had no eyes. It never spoke. Its long black cloak was kinda creepy.

I felt an arm touch mine lightly, and I turned to see her solemn, standing lifeless form, drained of the vitality that was the girl I knew as Jesse. She just looked at me a moment, that strength in her eyes no longer piercing through mine. What had happened to her?

She fell to the ground in a sudden hysteric, sobs dominating her chance to remain a calm and focussed woman. I felt my eyes widen and I sunk to my knees also, immediately taking her into my arms. 'Shh, it's okay, Jess…Jess it's alright, girl, c'mon…'

'It's not alright,' she said through loud sobs into my chest.

I held her tight as I could, trying to shush her, to comfort her, to calm her, but it wasn't working. I rocked back and forth with her as the panic and frustration and fear and whatever else screamed through sobs into the bloodstained apartment.

I repeated that same mantra, trying to calm her down, my words a drowned out song put next to her hysterical sobs. She squirmed like a little child fed up because they couldn't have it their way.

- - -

All I could hear was the purr of the engine as I eased my foot further and further down onto the accelerator, and in the back of my mind, the screams of the girl I'd stuck by since we discovered the hell we were to face.

Even though she had so much of a smooth calmness to her, it just wasn't the same anymore. Instead, all I could feel next to me was a solid block of ice. Cold. Lifeless. Melting. In this heat that is hell.

She'd lost the only person that had never given up on her.

Me? I was just a selfish twit only willing to consider myself in any equation I'd ever put to paper.

'_You know what's going on in L.A.?'_

'_Seen the news, sure. Never-ending night, rain of fire…Team Angel must really have their hands full.'_

'_You don't know the half of it.'_

'_But you're here to fill in the blanks for me. Why?'_

'_We need you.'_

'_Well, I hate to wet the paper for you, Wes, but I'm kinda unavailable right now. Maybe you want to check back in a few decades when my parole comes up.'_

'_You need to know-'_

'_It's Armageddon again. I dig. Last thing you need is me in the mix. Besides, Angel will come shining through in the end like he always does.'_

'_Angel's gone, Faith. Angelus is back.'_

_I stared at long him enough to decide it was time to go, then I finally came to a solid decision. It's go time…_

'_Step away from the glass.'_

I glanced over at Jess, who was leaning her head into the palm of her hand, which was resting on the door.

'_The only person who ever cared about me…and he's gone…'_

'_It's not alright…'_

Angel…I totally forgot. You know how sometimes words go in, register, then leave out the other ear? Well…my lack of memory once again allowed me to think only of myself and not those who needed me.

'Angel,' I muttered to myself, remembering what Wes had said to me earlier that day.


	4. Chapter 3

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Possible Faith/Jess, possible Faith/Buffy.  
**Rating: **R for language, themes

* * *

CHAPTER 3 

- You were sitting your fingers like fuses  
Your eyes, like cinnamon...**Stolen Car, Beth Orton**

The vampire walked down the dark and deserted street, beside his pal. Angel watched as they passed him, and one muttered something about a slayer being in town.

He stepped into the phone box and lifted the receiver, and tapped in some numbers from memory. He waited until someone responded and then cleared his throat.

'Hey, Dawn, is your sister home?'

He listened intently for an answer that would allow all to become clear.

'No, she's outta town, but can I take a message? Can I ask who's calling?'

He hung up the phone and stepped out of the phone box, and looked ahead. He began heading down the street and muttered to himself, 'Thank god it ain't the other one.'

- - -

The gentle purr of the engine rumbled beneath the group as they drove along the barely lit street. The warm air drifted into the car through the open windows, and made a gentle whooshing noise, the only apparent sound being made in their presence.

Buffy shifted into third after turning a corner, and sighed. Everyone was being silent, concentrating on the streets and the moving bodies in them. Or the lack of. She sensed the eeriness straight-off, it had become a second nature for her. As she glanced across at Wes in the passenger's seat, she noticed the apprehension in his face.

'Why didn't you call me sooner?' she finally said, her tone blunt, but a tone of calmness managed to overwhelm it.

He looked over at her and sucked in a breath, before wiping his mouth over with the palm of his hand. 'I didn't know until today.'

'I mean about Angel…'

'You mean Angelu-'

'I've been down that road before with him, if it's the mind-walk you're after I can get straight to it.' She lowered her voice. 'If I can seek him out.'

'I know…this is hard for you, Buffy, but Faith-'

'Doesn't know how to reach him…not the way I do,' she interrupted, again, her voice employing a rather harsh tone.

Wesley took a deep breath and looked briefly at his weapons. 'Why don't you just have a little faith?'

'Already had my share, can't say I was all with the warm fuzzies, not that she isn't good at 'em,' she quipped. 'I'm referring to Faith's idea of 'caring' for someone. Doesn't mean trying to kill their friends and take away everything else they have. But apparently she thinks that it does.' She exchanged a look with Wes and then concentrated on the road.

'Faith's changed, Buffy.'

'As far as I'm concerned, she'll never change. Only thing I ever saw in her was power, then evil, in that order. Of course…her idea of being a slayer wasn't exactly taken for a bet.'

Wes glanced over his shoulder at Gunn and Fred, to see their curious faces looking his way.

He looked back over at Buffy and exhaled. 'Buffy, Faith isn't exactly a saint, I agree, but she's-'

'I think we just passed him, Wes.' Buffy frowned and looked in her wing mirror. Her foot eased up on the accelerator and she shifted down a gear.

'Who, Angelu-'

'Do me a favour, Wes; no questions.' By this moment she'd brought the car to a complete halt and was already unfastening her seatbelt and getting out of the car.

'I-'

'Just keep lookin' for Faith, I'm gonna hang back, and see if I can catch up with him. He can't go too far now that I'm this close to him.'

Wesley nodded his head in agreement, having realised almost straightaway that stopping her wouldn't work. Plus, she knew what she was doing. If she was this confident about being able to do the whole mind-walk with him, then all he could do was let her to it.

'Here. You might need this, in case he gets too feisty,' he said, handing her the tranq-gun. He shifted over into the driver's seat and pressed his lips together, and looked into her eyes a moment. 'Be careful.' He pressed his foot down on the accelerator, heading away from her, and she began to walk backwards, watching them drive away, then turned on her heel and ran in the opposite direction.

- - -

As the tyres ran through the sand, the car slowed, and when it came to an eventual halt, a car door slammed, and footsteps were created as Jess trod through the dry sand towards the ocean.

I hung back, just letting her be for a moment. I looked down at my cigarette packet and grabbed it. Thank god for night-time gas stations.

I sucked it up and exhaled long, and silently. Safe. I loved the feeling. Of the smoke. The tobacco…what it did to me. Sure, whatever, I could die from it, but what the hell…could die from an axe. Seems more likely.

I flicked away the burnt ash and watched it flying away into the ocean air. It could go anywhere it wanted now…it was free. But me…I'll always be trapped.

She sat in the sand and hugged her knees to her chest and I watched as I sat upon the bonnet of the car, the warmness of the metal comforting to me. I pulled my leg in towards me, and let the other just stay. Soon my eyes were rolling back into my head and my eyelids were falling closed. They stung so much, I'd forgotten the feeling. Never got tired inside. Had too much energy buzzin' through me.

Sounds like something a hunter would say. I could feel it runnin' the course of my veins, pumping, like adrenaline, only smarter…it was oxygenating and breathtaking at the same time. Cos without it, I'd die, but with it, I would kill. The blood was like…a drill in my ear. Buzzing, yelling at me to do something with all my energy. And hunting down that flesh would burn up that energy good for me.

Huh.

'Shit, Jess,' I mumbled and opened my eyes. I was trying to keep an eye on her behaviour, just in case if she did something stupid. But I dunno.

The girl's smart. A hell of a lot smarter than I'll ever be. But she's just as fiery, pent up about everything as I am. Ballsy, beautiful. I dunno. She could go AWOL.

It seems strange. Thinking that she's a 'potential' Slayer. And we get on so well.

Once we were training together, doin' sit ups. I remember how we twisted our legs in together so we were anchored. We'd been talking about why we always trained.

Turns out my reason was exactly the same as hers. Cos we're fighters. For when they come for us. Or for when we go for them. Either way. We need to be prepared.

Naturally all that training makes me ballsy and hungry for some sort of kill, and patrol used to settle that tingle I get. But since I was inside…obviously not gonna start stakin' the inmates.

But it was hilarious. I was about to tell her how patrol would go down, how juiced I would get from knowing I could dust a vamp, got shivers right down to my toes, and she chimes in, tellin' me how her Watcher would take her out patrollin' and she'd find herself jonesin' for someone to put it there for her, the slaying a turn on from the rush of adrenaline.

Made me think about how B said she desired 'low fat yoghurts.' Sure.

Point is, the rush, the true feeling we both get from slaying. Hearing B's reaction disheartened me a little, but I kinda felt 'in place' when I talked about it with Jess.

'_Seriously; the buzz is eccentric, there's nothin' like it,' she said as she tried to catch her breath._

'_Tell me about it,' I said, still doin' sit-ups…seventy-five, seventy-six…_

'_Nothin' like a hot fix to finish off the night perfectly, though.'_

'_I reinforce my statement.'_

'_But I was never about the special thing. Do me, I'll be satisfied. OH…well…dependin' on the skills a brotha's willin' to play, can't be havin' none of that soft shit, it's gotta be hard, fast…I like an element of power.'_

'_It's a real rush…'_

'_What do you think they feel?'_

I always thought I felt sex more than others. Cos I was so aware of my senses (touch more than anything), and all this strength, whatever. I always thought that the rushes and the tingles and the ecstasy's were more intense. Could be a Slayer thing. Could just be hormones.

I opened my eyes and before me was the same image as when I closed them. The ocean. The moonlight shining down on it. Jess, sitting still, looking out towards the ocean.

What could I do but stay away, let her be. My whole life I've been travellin' around in a tight circle…consisting of me…and me. That's how much I trusted peoples. Never did. Until B. Then everything that happened between us sparked off my violent shell…the need to be tough, to look after my own.

Jess came along and has been nothing but there for me. She's been a friend. A friend. To me.

I found myself sitting down beside her, and dragging fingers along the smooth skin on her upper arm. She looked towards me, her eyes red and sore from where she'd been sobbing.

'For the first time in my life, I'm crying because I lost someone I cared about,' she said distantly, her eyes still on the ocean. I felt deprived of her attention and I placed my arm on her back, then slid it around her shoulder. She leant in close to me, and I brought my other arm up to hold her, and soon her arms were holding me.

'It's so hard,' I told her gently, not meaning to distort any thoughts in her mind. Just…wanted to let her know that I knew how she felt.

- - -

Never thought I would end up here, in front of someone I thought I'd said goodbye to for good. Never occurred to me that she could be here. Why would she be? Not enough problems back in Sunnydale?

So it happened like this. I was driving around town (after the beach) trying to think where to go. Ended up bumpin' into Angel's crowd, and Wes gave me the evilest eyes, would think I trampled on his book or somethin'; well, that and I tried to kill him, and broke outta jail right in front of him. Think he was slightly against me breakin' outta jail.

So Jess and I explained to him what we were doin' out of jail. That we were headed to Sunnydale to get with the Scoobs, find out what the deal is with this whole apocalypse trip. Wes told me he they were dealin' with their own kind of apocalypse right back here, and I wondered why I'd heard nothin' of it.

Wes explained to me what was goin' on with Angel, that his soul had tripped out on him, he needed me to…fix him.

So he sent me in the direction of him, Jess stayed behind with himself, Gunn (hot!) and Fred. Offered to set me up with Gunn's shotgun but I told him it was a salvage operation not a search and destroy. My boy's been there for me so long, I'm not about to pull the nasty on him.

So I headed out to this old, abandoned warehouse, pitch black, smelly. Had no sign of him there. Til I saw this body moving around in the darkness, talking to what seemed like themselves.

I climbed up a few metal stairs and jumped across a few boxes, tryin' a get closer to this person. Then I saw.

Her.

I couldn't believe how fast all that hate and anger flooded back to me, reminded me straight away of years ago, when I first met her, the girly girl she was.

Still is.

But ouch. She hit him hard across the face. Slapped him hard. He chuckled. Bone-chilling laugh. Not the laugh I knew him to have. It was so different. Colder.

This wasn't my Angel.

I stumbled over a few metal bars and fell down a floor to where he was, and he turned, saw me, and the smile fell from his face. His eyes pierced mine, good and hard. Still had the same effect. Melted away my tough exterior. But I couldn't. couldn't let her see me as the calm, collected Faith that had learned how to deal with her 'killing' issues. No. she had to see that I was still as tough and hard as ever. Better. Better than her.

But when he looked at me, his face free of expression, his eyes penetrating me deep, I stood. Still.

'Faith,' he said, seemingly surprised.

'Faith,' came that lighter, more bouncy tone from behind him, and I glanced at her.

I ignored her and looked into Angel's- I mean…Angelus's eyes. 'Angelus.'

'Well!' he started. 'Fancy that. Two slayers, here to cook me up a lil storm! How'd you break out Faith? Snap the necks of your prison guards? Cos I wouldn't put it past ya, I've seen you crack some neat tricks over the years including trying to kill off your sister slayer.'

'What are you doing here?' Buffy asked me gently, her voice echoing through the warehouse.

I took a step back, seeing Angelus take a step towards me. B's words went straight over my head, and I looked at Angelus, the smile upon his face frozen from emotion.

Too much detail goin' on to explain the whole fiasco, but one thing I gotta tell for sure is how messed up the Angel crew are.

- - -

So apparently the others took care of the demon thing that blocked out the sun. Fair enough. Wasn't about to get my fist on, in terms of connecting it with brick wall type demons, and ouching about how my bones got crumbled. Had Angelus for that.

I don't understand why, but it seemed Angelus was more keen on understanding why I was there, and not his precious lover B. Turned on her, punched her hard in the gut and sent her flying over the poles of the scaffolding down to the ground. I didn't see where she landed but I figured she must be knocked out, if not, worse. A floor of concrete down could shatter your skull let alone bring on the tweeties.

I looked at him, his cold glare a freakish nightmare I was hesitant to explore. No thank you. But it seemed I was the one set up for the job, I couldn't back out. Angel had been there for me. I couldn't just back out on him now.

As it always is, we ended up battling it out, me trying to get him down, him not having any of it. It ended up with the shot gun I'd taken from Gunn (just in case) landing in his hands, and with him taunting me with it, me at the foot of the stairs, him, on them, pointing the gun in the direction of my head. I glanced over at Buffy, who sure was knocked out on the floor, and silently wished she'd wake up.

What was I thinking, I didn't need her. Sure, I got myself into these situations but I could get myself out. No help needed. Especially not hers.

He cocked the gun and chuckled, watching my anxious eyes looking up into the cold emptiness of his.

'Wow… you really have gone soft, now haven't you? Hey, you remember that time you tried to get Angel to kill you because you felt all weepy over being such a bad little girl? Do you still feel that way? Do you still want to die?' His tone was so piercing. He really knew how to reach me, could scrape against my insides with his voice and know that he was scratchin' me out and he could just watch. As I squirmed and admitted how pathetic I was. WAS. Let's keep it in the past tense.

'No,' I muttered under my breath, hoping he'd let it slide just as easily as he did years ago, when he was comforting, and gentle.

'What's that?'

'No…' Again I muttered under my breath, and this time he taunted me with his words rather than the gun.

'I can't hear you…!'

'No!' I finally exploded. Yes. He managed to reach me again, get right into my spot where all defences tried so hard to keep hidden.

He cocked his gun and I clamped my eyes shut and clenched my jaw hoping to god this wouldn't be it.

'Too bad… 'cause you're gonna.'

He racked his gun again, and again, and soon I realised what he was doing. My eyes came open to this sight before me and a little bit of my emotion stumbled upon me as I let out a breath I was holding. Thank FUCK.

It seemed he had a lot of strength in him, and he managed to kick me down, and leave me there. Then came the wicked part.

So it turns out Wes found this weird Orpheus shit. A type of enchanted drug as it is. Apparently the effects are wicked trendy. No _apparently_ needed anymore. Trendy with a capital T. Vamps suck off humans, they go all whack and trippy, the effects last for a hella long time.

I didn't realise the trip would be just as trendy for me, being super-strengthy, being able to surpass whatever. But not for me.

The mind walk told me all I needed to know about Angel, he saved some people and things, reversed it by succumbing to his vampish tendencies and the rest is history.

I woke up to havoc back at Angel's and ended up having to knock out his kid, Connor, must have had a feisty hate for him, I caught him trying to kill him. Too much history in it I'm guessing.

But it all played out okay. Willow helped fix things, I kept Connor from becoming stab-happy. All settled down fine.

I watched him as he watched LA city and it's many colourful lights, his elbows leaning upon the balcony bars. I ran my hand up and down them as I watched him thinking about what I'd just said.

'We never stop fighting,' he mused gently, and I closed my eyes a moment, the thought of stopping appealing to me.

'Hey, I was gonna but then someone got all pep-talky on me.'

We exchanged words a little longer and he smiled as I playfully punched him on the arm. Our laughs died down and my face became serious.

'Angel, I…' I began, but realised that what I would say might just complicate things. 'Buffy's erm…' I scrunched my forehead, wondering how to end the sentence fast.

'Expecting you?'

I gazed into his wide eyes and smiled a little. 'Yeah…' I blinked and looked away from him. 'I should make a move…' I said, draggin' my words out and stepping away from the balcony railing.

'I'm so glad you were here to help me, Faith,' he told me, stepping away from the railing also, and standing, just inches from me, his beautiful self concentrated on me.

I flashed a grin at him and then nodded acceptingly.

'I mean it, I wouldn't have it any other way…'

'And there was me thinkin' B was ready to give you the mind trip all focussed and shit…'

'Ah, that's her.'

'Yeah, focussed alright.'

Silence.

'But your calling is just as important.'

'Yeah n' you want me fightin' at her side…'

'It's the only way to fight this war.'

'So you know?'

He shrugged, and as I looked up into his eyes and watched him resolve this inside his head, I thought about how beautiful he truly was.

'Like I said. We never stop fighting.'


	5. Chapter 4

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Possible Faith/Jess, possible Faith/Buffy.  
**Rating: **R for language, themes

* * *

Chapter 4

The drive to Sunnydale was pretty much silent. I'd told Jess to go and meet me there, that I wasn't gonna skip out on her. I wanted to promise but…those sentimental trips mean nothing to me.

So I rode home in the car with Willow. I was surprised she didn't ass-whoop me for nearly killin' her friends and turning psycho…and never apologising.

I didn't try to apologise. Everything they'd been through and I'd been through was beyond apologies.

'You did a brave thing back there,' I told her as we headed off the freeway past a board sign-posting 'Sunnydale.'

She nodded her head. 'You too.'

'Nah,' I told her quickly. 'I think it's you we have to thank.' She stole a glance my way and I sighed quickly. 'No, really, I mean it.' My tone remained solemn and I tried to keep still as we travelled back to Revello Drive.

I saw her raise an eyebrow and I couldn't do anything to that than absorb it. She had every right to stay pissed at me. I did try to destroy Buffy's life, which included her.

'Okay, Will, you have every right to stay mad at me, but if we're gonna be livin' together then maybe we should at least be on talking terms-'

'Lay one finger on my family…and I will personally strip every vein from your body. Strength or no strength. I have other ways of…'

'Yeah, the er…evil Red, whatever.' I lowered my tone. 'I hold you to that.'

She nodded her head as she kept her eyes on the road. But all of a sudden we were screeching to a halt and she was hurrying towards a girl lying unconscious or perhaps dead…either way…we don't stop fighting.

I got out the other side of the car and began walking towards them. All I could see ahead of me was darkness, and this unconscious girl before me. Darkness, and death.

'Yep,' I muttered. 'Guess I'm back in Sunnydale.'

- - -

Alright, so it turns out that girl in the road is a potential, just like Jess. Only looked a lot less strong. I wouldn't mark her for a p.s. even if she didn't look like a battered apple.

But anyways. Speaking more of the big picture. Arriving at the house was easier than I thought. Seeing as meeting with B and her new 'boyfriend' was the hardest part I was expecting. Buffy back in the arms of her home. Me. Back. To possibly mess up shit again. I didn't intend to step down that path but push me and I could.

'Hey, got a spare bed for a wanted fugitive?' I uttered, putting on my best face, and hoping they wouldn't punch me (or spit depending on their mood).

Giles and the Buffy-brat shifted and Buffy furrowed her eyebrows.

'Well, I guess "wanted" wasn't really accurate.'

Dawn piped up, and stepped forward a little bit. 'Does she have to stay here? Because there's some nice hotels that welcome tried-to-kill-your-sister types.'

As much as I tried to hold back, I just had to let this one pop. 'Check it out. Brat's all woman-sized.'

'Look, I need to get to the hospital. Some girl was attacked on her way into town. We think she might be a-'

'We know. Willow's been calling.'

'She's still there. She's gonna call if the girl wakes up.'

Buffy gave G-Man a deathly glare and headed out of the room as she mumbled something to herself. I stepped forward into the dining room, watching Dawn for a moment, then looked to Giles.

'Well, Faith, we better, um, see if we can find some place to squeeze you in for the night,' Giles told me, and I headed up the stairs just behind him.

I cleared my throat as I headed upstairs, sliding my hand up the banister as we walked. 'So I hear it's been a struggle?' I dunno. My best shot. I don't usually like to make with the small-talk.

'When isn't it…' he mumbled beneath his breath and removed his glasses from his face as he pushed a door to that as far as I could remember was Joyce's room. I heard she died. Must have been tough.

First thing I saw was a room full of girls, laughing, joking, bein' all, girly girly…and I stepped back and gazed at Giles. 'Please tell me there's a free bedroom next door?'

He glanced my way and sighed. 'You'll be lucky if you can find a free square centimetre.' We walked along to the next room and he opened his mouth to speak. 'Actually, there's the hallway, if you'd prefer, or the loft, which…you might…' his voice trailed off as he opened the bedroom door and hey presto, same mighty ol' thing goin' on.

I creased my forehead and groaned to myself. 'Pleeeease…' He stepped aside and introduced the girls to me.

'Girls, this is Faith.'

'Ooooh, I heard about you, you're that other slayer from L.A. that went psycho and started killing everybody,' a small blonde girl said from behind a tower of popcorn.

Another girl spoke and I silently prayed they wouldn't try to paint my toenails and make curls with my hair the moment Giles left me alone with them. 'Erm…should we be staying here with her, I mean…we came here to be safe, right…?'

I raised an eyebrow and turned, headed in the opposite direction of the room, and down the stairs, jogging.

I heard Giles coming after me and called my name. 'Faith…'

'I wanna reinforce my "wanted" statement,' I said as I headed through into the lounge, where Jess was sitting, alone, on the couch. And as she looked up into my eyes, I knew.

- - -

I took her hands into mine and asked her to repeat to me what she'd just said. Baring in mind Giles had seen and heard this, and now was standing the archway between the foyer and this room.

She sniffled tears back and exhaled loud, and as she looked up to the ceiling and inhaled, I wondered if she could get those words out again.

'Jess…'

She shook her head and lowered it. I heard her breathing, and watched at how her fed up body slumped. She needed sleep.

'It was Buffy,' she began. My eyes widened and I glanced at Giles, both of our faces covered with concern.

'What'd she say?' I uttered, my voice low and gravely as if I hadn't spoken since sleep.

She cleared her throat and gazed up into my eyes. I met them with my own, and tried hard as I could to search for answers through her mind than through her words.

'That…I should stay away from you.'

Oh. That I could understand. She wanted me away from all living objects…I squinted my eyes and tilted my head a little.

'She kept saying all this stuff about everything being swallowed up and evil consuming all good and you being a part of that transition. That I needed to stay away from you…for your own good. That we needed to shove you out, that you shouldn't be here. You don't belong here. You have to die.'

Whoa. Back up. Wasn't it B who had come to 'get me' to help with this war?

This was too much. I had to get out.

- - -

'Faith; wait,' I heard her say as I stalked my way out of the house. She wanted me out. Fine…I'm out. Looks like it's back to the penitentiary for me.

I slammed the door and just walked, away from the house, into the front yard, away from it all.

God, I was so sick of this.

All at once I could feel her approaching me, her solemn attitude flaring up into something larger. Even though she was quiet, she was as ballsy as me when she was pent up, and as she grabbed my arm and held me back I realised that was it. Her powerful self, holding me back. When I needed her.

'Faith, for the love a god, talk to me!' she said, raising her voice at me.

I tried to ignore her, feeling the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. She couldn't see me cry. She had to know that I could stand this shit, not the opposite.

I slowed up my pace, and ran my fingers back through my hair, looking out at the night and its endless dark.

I couldn't feel her beside me. But god, I could still feel her presence. Comforting as it was, I really wanted to be alone. But she remained with me.

'What are you afraid of?' I heard her say, her voice overpowered by the midnight wind pushing my hair out of my face. 'Her?'

I hesitated at first, not wanting to share. But…who the hell else better to share with?

'She…just…' I could see her moving into the space beside me, and glanced briefly her way. I inhaled deep, making this decision inside myself, selfish or not. '…We can't stay.'

She outstretched her hands. 'Then why the fuck are we standin' here, Fay? So, she doesn't like you, so what! Gotta have a few enemies in this world-'

'Jess, c'mon-'

'Fay, I cannot BELIEVE this!' She licked over her lips and outstretched a finger to me. 'You **are** afraid of her, aren't you?'

Silence. I damn well am not. But maybe I'm afraid of her stickin' another large intimidatin' knife in my hobnob.

'Why are you doin' this Fay? I thought we agreed that this place was the way out?'

'Out of what? This war?'

'Of course not, Faith! What the…?' She scrunched her face up, lookin' at me as if I was wearing a large pink clown suit tryin' to be amusing. She removed a cigarette from her pocket and lit it up. The orange bead glowed as she sucked on it a while, and as she puffed out the smoke, she muttered words. 'You need to tell me why, Faith. Because I honestly…I'm sick of this. We need to be honest, Fay. Or else…what do we have?'

She was right. I had her. Right now. This whole time we'd been at each other's side, honest and straightforward. We did all this together. But _she _walks in and that all changes.

'She told me things, Fay. Things about you, that…damn, I didn't wanna hear, but it's the past, and whatever happened between you two…'

'She paralyses me,' I began, my voice low, and my throat raw, from where I'd cried myself dry.

There was hesitation at first, and then I realised she was taking a drag of her cigarette. 'Go on,' I heard her say, and when I looked at her, a cloud of smoke was surrounding her.

'It's like…whenever I'm around her, I just…I feel this, insatiable need to be better than her. But…whatever it is, I find myself unable to move, or deal. I freeze. I see her and…my past just…comes floodin' back to me.' I took a breath and then continued. 'She was there when it all began. When I staked a guy for real. And he died, I panicked, ran…then…later…told her I didn't care.'

'You lied.'

'Course I lied,' I sneered. 'I wanted her to think I was…tough. Hard. Too much to be messed with.'

'Why?'

'Because I had to be better.' I ran my fingers back through my hair and looked out across the night. 'I tried to teach her how to be a warrior, a tough-shelled fighter ready to take anything. But…when I saw the blood on my hands, and on my shirt, all I could think of was how I was a killer. An animal. How…I wasn't even supposed to be there. I was just…the slayer who was called but…not really…needed…wanted…'

'No, Fay, that ain't true.' She approached me and turned me to face her. A tear fell down my cheek and I bit my lip. 'Ey…look atcha.' She brought a hand to my face and wiped my tears away. 'You're cold.'

'I always have been.'

I took a step back from her, and headed towards the car we'd had, parked out on the road, but she stopped me, and just looked into my eyes.

'Hey,' she said gently, taking hold of my upper arm. 'Whatever it is that you're afraid of…get past it. Buffy may be, a Slayer, but, newsflash…so are you. She wants you out, tough. Her house or not. You're here with me.' She paused and a smile came to her lips as she stepped in close to me. 'You're my Slayer. And I don't care what the other potentials say, I saw you first.' I chuckled a little and pulled her in for a hug. 'I mean it. You're mine, and I ain't leavin' you. I don't care how sick you get of me.' She pulled back and stood before me.

'You and me…we're warriors. We're alive to fight wars, and help stop apocalypses. Ain't no shame nor blame in that. We fight…sure innocent people are gonna get caught up in the mix, but…that's not our fault. It happens. End of. So let's stay here. And kick much apocalypse ass.'

She began to head back inside, and I thought to myself for a moment. 'I'm not gonna lose you…?'

She stopped and turned to look at me. 'What?'

'To her. I'm not…am I?'

She approached me again, this time placing her hands upon my shoulders. 'Fay, it's not about losing. It's about…who we know, who we love. Why we love them.' She tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and looked into my eyes. 'Now I'm not all about the warm fuzzies, but I know love when it hits me. And BELIEVE me, Faith. If B is anything like you say she is…just believe that this feelin' I have for you…ain't gonna make me do nothin' but protect you.' She hit me playfully upon the arm and headed back for the house, putting out her cigarette as she did.

So…she has feelings, huh.

* * *

**TBC**

Please Review!


	6. Chapter 5

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Possible Faith/Jess, possible Faith/Buffy.  
**Rating: **R for language, themes.

* * *

CHAPTER 5

You are pulled from the wreckage  
Of your silent reverie…**Arms of the Angel, Sarah McLachlan**

So it turns out this whole war deal is much more than I expected it would be. The source of all evil's hit our backyard and the potentials are here to help fight the supposed battle. Turns out even neighbours are leaving town.

She says his name is Caleb. Some sort of woman-hatin' Preacher ready to bring on the battle against us with his truck's lighter. Apparently he's all with the fist and the physical damage and really strong. B wants to take 'em all down to the vineyard where he's hidin' out with all his blind bringers. I say it's too dangerous. She says they're strong enough. So you can see the conflicting images here. She's about ready to bring it…with other people's lives. I'm NOT.

So there she goes, storming out of the lounge where everybody's talking (or rather she's talking) about what we're gonna do. She heads into the kitchen, making a fuss under her breath as she goes, and I up from my chair and follow her. Jess wanted to follow, but I told her to stay back. Honestly? It could get ugly; the way she's been hitting it off so far. I know I buried my past, but I'd dig it all up just to see B squeamin' in her non-stylish and very cheap boots.

'Faith, what are you doing?' she asks all "I'm the Head Slayer," in control, the way she always wanted to be.

'B, what are _you _doin'? Can you _not see _what you're doin'?'

'How can you come in here and question my methods after you started tossin' off people's lives like they were candy wrappers? What do you know?'

'What do I know! I know that these girls are not ready-'

'You've never seen them fight-'

'Yeah, and the way Giles put it, it seems neither have you.'

'They need to do this, Faith. To realise how hard the fight is gonna be.'

'I thought this IS the fight…'

She scoffs at me and I'm gettin' way offended. 'Oh man, just as I thought,' she mumbled beneath her breath, and I took a step towards her, the sound of my boots scuffing the ground. 'Can't say I expected you to, never did-'

'Ex-CUSE me!'

'What, you break outta jail and all of a sudden you know "best?" Faith don't kid yourself.'

'Oh, use that attitude to buy yourself a clue,' I spat, deciding to leave, though happening to be stopped by Buffy's curiosity.

'Why exactly is it that you hate me so much? Is it because I know what I'm talkin' about and you don't? What, are you afraid same thing's gonna happen before; I'm gonna _surpass _you?'

'Oh my…' I shook my head in disbelief. Seems the ninety-nine percent of substance in her head really is just air. Or ego, not sure yet. 'Alright, B, I'm gonna tell it how it IS. Arite, I come in here, and straight away, I see you telling every single person what to do, as if you have all the answers, just like that. I see, p-ses throwin' pillows around, chewin' popcorn and paintin' fingernails and then you telling them they gotta go fight a guy even though they might not have a clue how to do so. I see, Giles removin' his glasses from his face every two seconds which OBVIOUSLY means the decision isn't unanimous even though he doesn't get a word in edgeways. I see despair, anxiety and then I see You. I see you, Buffy. And it seems you don't, no…you _won't _take into consideration ANYbody else's opinion because only yours counts. You draw up the map; they do, they DIE. Then you try to tell _me_ what I'm doin' even though you _know _you can't tell me what I'm doin' for the simple fact that YOU KNOW I'm NOT one of them. I'm one of YOU. As is Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow –whatever. But you're trying to form an army but you don't have the first clue. Sandy in there, curly blonde hair, about one hundred and twenty-five pounds, green eyes? She's never even held a stake, or hit a guy. Lauren, okay she's like sixteen, five-six, brown hair down to like her butt – she's never put up a block stance, and she's NEVER seen a vamp. About ninety percent of these girls haven't and I BET you're wondering how I know this?' I took a breath and licked over my lips, thinking she would say something, but instead she just looked at me blankly. 'You should see Sandy's hands, clear as ice- any person holding a stake knows they're gonna get splinters, bust 'em up a little.

'They don't know the SLIGHTEST thing about a fight. And you're about to lead them into a battle that they're all shit-scared of cos they know they're gonna fail.'

Just when I thought all my talking was gonna pay off, she's raisin' an eyebrow at me, as if "what the hell, I'm tough shit, I don't gotta listen."

'Alright, we don't have time for this, are you coming or not?'

I shook my head slow, watching her standing, hands folded, eyebrow raised. Still. 'This is what I mean, this is- you think you are so much better than us, Buffy – always has been that way. Slayer's fight, so you have to be right, no questions, no disagreements.'

'Might as well get out, then.'

My eyes widened and I spread my arms. 'Why the hell, Buffy?'

'Why the hell what, Faith?' she said all nonchalant, thinkin' I couldn't see all that fear in her eyes.

'Why do you always do this?'

'What?'

'Listen to what anybody has to say then dismiss it like WE don't have the first clue what we're talkin' about?'

She shrugged and I swear to God I wanted to swing one good and hard her way. 'Cos you have to fall in line. What I say goes. You wanna try to come in my house and tell me what to do? No. You wanna come here and try to act like you can lead these girls? No. Okay? Just, no. They're my girls, I train them, I'm responsible for them. I'm the only Slayer here, and what I say goes. Alright? I go first, I say the NO or I say the YES. There isn't time for um's and ah's and "I can't make decisions" – I say what happens. You don't like it…then go the hell back to the big house.'

Had to clench my fists and jaw to stop myself from punching her. And as she started to walk back through the dining room, I followed. Unfinished and all.

'You just can't take it, can you?' I told her, her back to mine. She paused in her steps and turned to face me, crossing her arms over her chest and flicking her hair back.

'Excuse me…'

'The fact that I _could _actually lead them. Cos I reformed, and you don't like it. You know I'm the only match for you, I'm as strong as you and if I wanted, I could run the show.'

Seems everyone wanted to know what the hype was, and good thing they did too. Perhaps they should know all about her barefaced fucking falsehoods. She might try to sell me out as the bad girl. But I know where to draw the line. Her rage comes out…there is no line.

'You might be my match, Faith…but you'll _never _be running this show. This is MY war.'

'Like you're the only one in conflict.'

'Fuck you, Faith.'

'Look, we're all on the same team here-'

'Yeah…you're right. But there's no _we _in you and I. So get out.'

'I thought you needed me,' I said, for the love of god trying to keep my temper in front of everyone, because I swear to God I'd have lost it by now if it was just us two.

Giles emerged from the crowd of faces and put his glasses on, then gently, slid his hands into his pockets. 'We-' he started, looking at Buffy. '…We _do _need you, Faith. Buffy, you're being irrational. And I think Faith's right.'

Buffy lookin' all defeated and surprised, let her jaw drop. 'WHAT!'

'These girls, are barely if not AT ALL experienced in fighting and you're signing their lives away by taking them to Caleb. If we go, it should be us. Not them.'

'No, wait.' I took a couple of steps forward past Giles and into the lounge. 'If I understand correctly, some of you girls have done this before. So if you think you can do it, get it together and tag along. If not…stay behind.'

'I don't think…' B started.

'That sounds like an idea to me…' Kennedy piped up. Some of the girls got up and headed up to their rooms, Buffy watching them all as they went. Ha. Shut her up.

'I count, what, fifteen of us. At least _now_, we might stand a chance rather than having to watch out for the potentials,' I told Giles and B, hoping she'd at least nod or something. Will, Xander and Anya had come into the foyer where we'd been standing.

'Buffy?' There was a silence as Giles looked towards her. 'Any objections?' he said solemnly waiting her answer.

She looked at us all, one by one. 'No.' she looked at me, and stepped forward. 'And what about Jess?'

'She'll be with me – Jess, you comin'?'

She stood up from the couch arm and nodded. 'Sure. Nothin' I can't handle.'

Buffy looked her up and down, and I could tell she was wondering whether or not she could actually handle a fight.

'Ey,' I said, alerting her to me. 'I only had one p.s. to train. She knows her game.'

Buffy scoffed and headed through to the lounge to get weapons.

I looked to Giles, searching approval, and he nodded calmly. 'I think we've needed someone to do that for quite some time, now.'

'What, put her in her place?' I asked.

Willow nodded. 'One more round of her lecture's and I would be growing black roots. As much as she has all of our lives at interest, she's not getting a hold of it. She's not letting herself open to us. She may pretend she doesn't need you, Faith. But she really does. You're the only one who knows how to get through to her.'

Giles nodded. 'Hmm, and I think you just did.'

I nodded also, narrowing my eyes slightly. 'No doubt, first thing I noticed when I got here. We'll uh, address that situation a little later. But for now she's definitely right about one thing; we need weapons.'

They all agreed and we headed back into the lounge to help her grab some things.


	7. Chapter 6

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings: **Possible Faith/Jess, possible Faith/Buffy.  
**Rating: **R for language, themes.

* * *

Chapter 6 

Don't know what you expected of me  
Put under the pressure, of walking  
In your shoes…**Numb/Encore, Linkin Park**

There was just a handful or two of us. Ready to give Caleb what we had.

The First Evil's strongest living vessel, Giles said.

What strikes me as odd is how the strongest living vessel of good can't beat this fucker. There was B, me, Xander, the potentials. There were enough of us. But we couldn't even wound him. Instead he wounded all but two of us. The two of being me, and B.

I'm sitting at some girl's bedside, and I can see she isn't gonna make it. Comatose, broken bones, internal bleeding, whatever other damage he did her. I just felt B walk past me and the cold atmosphere as the wounded turned from her, or shot her a menacing look. As if she was the big bad.

I scanned the room with my eyes. ER was full of us. OUR cavalry. Some of them had broken bones and that was it. Some, like this girl here, weren't so lucky. Two had died already. I hadn't even known their names.

It wasn't until then that I realised just how hard this was gonna be. It was a tough room. Crying. Silence. Anxiety; panic. And this was just the first round. No doubt B had some strong emotion runnin' through her, she really wanted us to go tonight. She wanted us all to go. I just thank fuck we all didn't.

I glanced around the room once again. Still a tough room. A tough room, minus B.

The worn floorboards creaked beneath my boot and a constant drip of water echoed through the black hallway as I traipsed it. I barely knew where I was going. But for some strange reason, knew where I would end up.

I stepped into the open room, the lack of light meaning I had to try my utmost to find my way around without my eyes. The pastel blue of the moonlight shone in through the large broken window, yet that only painted silhouettes around the room. And there she was. Just standing, so still, at that fractured window, right on the edge. The moonlight painting her a void of colour.

Something told me she wouldn't appreciate my company, so I assumed the position I'd taken; just inside the doorframe. I folded my arms across my chest, the extreme cold starting to get to me.

It wasn't me who started talking, which made it easier to speak.

'You know, you can sleep for a whole day and not feel rested,' she started. 'And you can dream, but all the images running through your head are of war and death.'

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea what she was talking about. Did she know it was me standing behind her?

'It must've been a hell of a lot easier to sleep inside, huh?'

So she did know. I took a careful step forward and opened my mouth to speak. 'Em…not…really.'

'Come on, it must've been. No wars to fight, no vamps to dust. No apocalypses to worry about.'

'Just because you aren't in the centre of them it doesn't mean you don't worry about them.'

Silence. She took a step back, and turned, glanced at me, then looked across at whatever it was that caught her eye across the room.

'Angel would tell me about all his dealings, all the time. I always knew that he could handle it, though. No problem. He always did,' I said, strongly at first, but drifted off when my eyes rested upon her still form once again. This time she was standing, not far from me, and looking into my eyes.

'Yeah.'

I broke my gaze from her first, and soon found myself strolling towards that same broken window that she had been standing before.

'Why does it always have to be this hard, Faith…' she said quietly, her words practically swallowed by her own throat.

I turned to see her, passing her hand over her face, as if she was wiping away tears, and I gotta say, it hurt to see her this way. As much as I wanted to hate her right now. I couldn't do that. Look at her.

'Life's just that, B. Hard. What fun would it be if it weren't?'

She remained silent and I took a step towards her, my forehead creasing a little from watching her distressed state.

'Those potentials know as much as you and me just how hard it is,' I began to explain. Lord knows where I was goin' with it. 'I mean look at us…'

She looked up at me, her eyes welled with tears, her cheeks already tear-stained.

She released a sigh and shook her head, passed her hand over her face again. 'Yeah…you hate me. I tried to kill you.'

'Ah, that's old news,' I said. Dude. Good of me to let go so fast. 'What I meant was…we're standing here. Right now. Still alive. Still Slayers. As much as we can't or…aren't supposed to exist together, we're still doin' it. Man, you might want to rip my throat out or worse kill me, but-'

'I don't wanna do that,' she said solemnly, taking a step towards me.

I looked into those large green pools, once again, just absorbing those words. Hell. She didn't wanna kill me.

'You must at least wanna beat on me some…' I quipped, taking a step towards her.

What was to follow was of total bewilderment to me. Closing in on the space between us, she moved in towards me, and slowly, rested her head upon my chest. Her arms folded around me and she breathed against me.

What was she even doing?

I stood there for a moment, not knowing whether to back up or return the…gesture.

'Em, B?' I finally said, my words lost by my own anxiety. I think she was starting to lose it, if nothin' else. I mean, B, hugging me? There had to be something wrong with this equation.

'Thank you,' she whispered, still holding me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but instead, I furrowed my eyebrows.

'For…coming here.'

The pastel blue of the moonlight shone in through the open curtains and rendered the atmosphere a cold steel. There were many in slumber around me, those who had not gone with us tonight. Thank god they could get some rest. They might have to fight sooner than they realise.

Those words. Her words. I couldn't get them out of my mind. She was thanking me. Hours before I'd believed she hated my guts.

I was torn from my own thoughts as I heard footsteps traipsing down the stairs one at a time. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a slender body, moving towards the door. I turned my focus to the body, pulling the door to, then disappearing out of the house.

I listened to my own footsteps as I disappeared out of the house, and onto the cold porch. Again, there she was. Alone. Just sitting. No doubt thoughts flooding her mind, keeping her from sleep.

I pulled the door to, and took a couple of steps towards her, folding my arms over my chest to keep myself warm. 'Can't sleep either, huh,' she piped up, her voice raspy and tired.

'Too much goin' through my mind,' I told her gently. I joined her at the railing, thinking perhaps I could discuss what was on my mind; what had been on my mind ever since it had happened.

It seemed that lack of eye contact was more comfortable for us right now. In my case, I believed. Looking out across the drive was easier for me, and I was glad she'd decided to take that approach also. I caught her glancing briefly at me as I took hold of the railing before me and released a long sigh.

'Is that so…' I heard her say ever so quietly, before leaning her arms upon the railing.

It seemed she had too much going on her mind to start a conversation. Her flat tone suggested she wanted to be left alone. So I backed up out of her space once again. Headed back inside, but she stopped me with that solemn tone of hers.

'I'm sorry…'

Heaven knows why. I saw her look over her shoulder at me. Her eyes were filled with that same sadness from before. And hurt. She hurt a lot, I could see that from just hearing the way she walked. But now, her eyes were exhausted, her body worse.

My voice employed a perplexed tone. 'What for?' I turned and headed towards her once again, and this time she let me know she wanted to talk.

'Before. I was…I don't know _what_ was…'

I raised a hand to her to silence her and shook my head. 'No. Don't apologise.'

She nodded a little, surprised I think at my response. She looked back out across the drive.

All I could think about was before. What she'd said was going over and over in my mind. I thought she hated me.

'I don't hate you,' she said, as if she knew what was on my mind.

I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. 'And I don't hate you.'

There was more silence as I contemplated the situation we had ahead of us. Caleb. The First. Seemed a lot easier when I didn't have a clue who he was. But now that I'd seen what he could do, I was more interested in where there hell I could go, how quickly I could get there. The other side of the world. Hell yes.

'What do we do now?' I muttered, assuming the same position as her, leaning upon the railing, looking out ahead at nothing in particular.

I heard her inhale and awaited her reply. 'About all of this?'

I nodded, keeping my eyes upon the tree a few feet ahead of me. Perhaps she did have a little more sense than me. I had to ask her what we were gonna do, even though she herself seemed a state. I really have no clue.

'What we can, I guess.'

'How? We have Caleb sending all his guys to come and chop our heads off, hell knows one of them tried to off Jesse and could've succeeded.' I took a long breath and sighed it out as I spoke. 'Why don't we just…leave…'

'I can't do that,' she stated, her words sticking in my head immediately.

'Why not?'

'Because everything I ever learnt, all I know, my life is here. Leaving is like…turning my back on slaying…'

I shrugged. 'So…'

She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. 'So?'

I looked at her and nodded. 'Yeah.'

She chuckled and looked away from me. 'It's that easy for you, huh.'

I shook my head and frowned a moment. 'Hell, no it's not easy. It's just the right decision.'

'You really believe that?'

'I have to. I'm not the slayer I used to be. It was easier for me to be the hard, tough, emotionless cruel bitch I was before. I didn't have to think about other people's feelings, people dying, whatever. But then…then I grew up. Stupid as it sounds, I grew UP. I realised that I wasn't a fucking piece of steel. Realised I was a person. Just like everybody else. Difference is…I chose to ignore that. So I paid a price.'

'You changed.'

'I tried to. And I realised…being a slayer…its no good for me.'

'Seriously?' Gee honey, don't sound too surprised.

'B, please. I have a violent past; I staked a human being, stabbed a professor and tortured my watcher,' I said, beginning to count out on my fingers all of the bad things I'd done.

She chuckled lightly and straightened out. 'That is true.' She climbed upon the railing to sit, now looking in my direction.

'I kept thinking to myself, "maybe it's best if I just quit slayin' and just face up to my life sentence."'

Look at me. Beginning to pour my guts to the girl who wanted them less than four years ago.

She sighed loudly and ran her fingers back through her hair. 'So you're not gonna fight with us-'

'But then I realised…I was given this power for a reason.' I took a breath. 'It's because I can handle it. God, or, the powers that be, whatever. They gave me this power because they wanted me to have it. And they knew that I would have to use it to protect and to save people.'

'Like a warrior.'

'Yeah, totally,' I agreed.

There was some silence between us for a while and I started to think about our past, and how different things could've been. What if I'd never staked that man? What if I'd stayed here all of these years?

'What about Jesse?' Buffy said after quite some time.

I thought about this for a moment. First of all, what was it to B? Sure she _could _care if she wanted to, but why would she? She knew her about as much as she knew each of the other potentials. 'Jesse's…she's my friend,' I told her calmly, intending to leave it there. But for some reason I had a pressing question I had to ask her. 'Am I your friend?' Nah. It's a stupid question. I shouldn't have asked her.

She looked into my eyes, just watching. There was no reply and I decided to speak more.

'Do you want me to be?'

Again, she watched me, her features softening slowly, then finally after a careful nod and an indolent blink, she replied. 'I do.' She paused. 'Sometimes.'

I released a small laugh and straightened out. 'Okay. I'll be your "sometimes" friend.'

She released a laugh also, and for a moment it was good to see her smile. Reminded me how pretty it was. 'No, don't be stupid.' She calmed down a little, until her face was serious. 'Be my "always" friend.'

Did she mean that? Apparently so, because next thing I knew she was reaching a hand out to me, and I knew no better than to take it. So perhaps reconciliation was a possibility for us.

* * *

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 7

**Title: **No Sense In Running  
**Disclaimer: **Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.  
**Pairings:**A littleFaith/Buffy.  
**Rating: **R for language and themes.  
**Note: **Thanks for waiting so long for this update! Hopefully I should be able to get back on track with this now, as I have a direction for it to go in! Hope you enjoy the chapter, please review, as always!

* * *

Chapter 7 

It seemed B and I had turned a corner after that night. Everyone knew and saw how tough this deal was beginning to get. After losing potentials and Xander gettin' seriously hurt, the Scoobs seemed to come together and forget all the disputes. Hell, I even caught B flashin' me a quick smile from across the kitchen. At least I was safe with her now.

It even seemed she trusted me with the girls. While she went out to find out what she could about the First. I hung back and trained with the girls, Jess by my side, leading the girls with me. Even though I reckon that little brat Kennedy was getting jealous.

'Faith,' she said, calling me to a corner whilst the girls stretched and warmed up. Jess pulled out some equipment from a lengthy duffel bag and began to set it up and Kennedy glanced over her shoulder at her before speaking up. 'How come she gets to give orders?' she asked, pretendin' to be all un-bothered when really I could see it was because Jess'd replaced her.

I sipped off the cool neck of the water bottle as I listened to her. 'Cos she's with me.' I screwed the lid back on and shoved a couple of words at the girls and we all got to work, Kennedy going to her place, inwardly huffing at what I'd told her. So what. Partners with Amanda, Jess positioned her, and I smiled at the thought of Kennedy's face when being told by Jess what to do.

'Alright, listen up,' I called, beginning to walk around the room as I spoke. 'This activity will teach and test your reflexes, whether they're sharp or not already, I don't care. Evil's quick, evil's ruthless and you're gonna need to be ten steps ahead to beat their game. So when sparring just remember to think about what you're opponent's next move may be, what their weaknesses are. All these things are important, not just for you, but for your partner. Talk to them afterwards.'

I worked 'em damn hard, and a good thing I did. They get to learn the hard way. Most of these Potentials probably wouldn't ever have been called in their lifetime. But unfortunately Evil's a lot more demanding than it used to be. They had to be tough; and ready. They could straight up die from one fight. And if I was trainin' 'em…that wasn't gonna happen.

B let me take a nap in her room, but I didn't think I'd sleep until midnight. Couple a hours kip I was headin' for, didn't realise I'd be knocked out for the whole evening. I awoke to a tap against the bedroom door. I rolled my body over to face the door, and watched tiredly as a slender figure entered, closing the door behind them.

'How was it?' she asked as she approached me with gentle footsteps.

I shrugged. Depends what she meant. 'Training?' She nodded. 'Yeah…' I sighed out and sat up, and ruffled my hair up as I thought of something to say. 'They're good.'

'Are they good _enough_?'

I thought about it, and I saw her kick off her shoes and then sit beside me, pulling a knee up to her chest as she waited for my reply.

'They're skilled, quick, strong…but…' I glanced into her eyes, though couldn't keep my gaze on her in fear of her picking up on the tail end of my sentence. 'They're scared, B. Way scared.'

She looked away for a moment, but her eyes found mine once again. 'Remember how we were?'

Too well, B. Too well.

'I…I do, yea…' I said, my voice trailing off as soon as I began to speak.

'I was petrified when I first got called,' she started. She shuffled on the bed a little and I saw her forehead crease. 'But…when you were called…I…I felt…' I could see her thinking for a while, and I wondered if the word I thought she'd use was the word I was thinking of.

'Safe…' I finally said, my gaze off somewhere, lost, but when I looked into her eyes…found.

She didn't speak. Just nodded. So simple.

'But I was still scared,' I began, keeping my gaze on her now. 'I was so scared…'

'You were?' She actually sounded surprised.

'Did you honestly think I was all steel, ice cold and no heart?'

She looked away. 'Well you did kill a bunch of people out of fun…'

'Out of _fear_…' I corrected her, and her gaze lifted to mine once again.

We hadn't ever spent so long just gazing at each other, but it was then that she saw just everything that had been sitting behind my eyes, all this time. I saw her eyes begin to well with tears and she tore her gaze from me.

She moved away from the bed and crossed the room to the dresser upon which stood a side lamp. She flicked it on. Yes. Darkness. Before we'd been sitting in a room glazed with a pastel blue moonlight. She was avoiding me.

'I'm thinking of going back to the vineyard tomorrow, to see if I can find out something more about Caleb…'

'What did you think I did it for, B?' I asked her quickly, my voice firm now.

'Faith, please, don't,' her voice riddled with an undertone of plea, but her actual tone even firmer than mine.

Silence. Of course. We don't talk about that.

'Everywhere I've been, I've been rejected; for once I wanted to know what it felt like to be…' I licked over my lips and sat forward. 'Well…to be wanted, even if it was by evil…'

'And you think I didn't want you?' she said almost too quickly, but I could see she took it back almost as soon as she'd told me. Her jaw dropped and my eyes widened. _Don't think she meant to say that aloud. _She covered her mouth with the palm of her hand and I shuffled forward in the bed.

'What?' I asked quietly.

She was stumped. But I think that was okay. I moved slowly from the comforter to where she was standing, and looked at her, her downcast eyes dribbling tears that had built up in her eyes minutes prior to her statement.

'What?' I repeated, this time a bare whisper, fragile, almost…pleading. That's right. I needed for her to say something. No. Not _something_. That. I needed her to say what she'd just said.

Her eyes moved to focus on mine again, and I could see what was hiding behind them. At least I thought I could.

'You were my safety, Faith. And then I lost you. The minute you…' She clamped her eye shut. _Its okay, I understand. It hurts. Still. _It hurts me too. 'That night everything changed.'

I continued to look at her, this transformed woman, so strong the moment she entered the door, so vulnerable at this moment, here, before me. And somehow I'd come to wrap my arms around her. Somehow we'd begun to find one another again, somehow she needed me. Wanted…_me_.

* * *

Her body needed one thing, but her mind another. Her eyes focussed solidly on the light fixture on the ceiling and the harsh, bitty silence, broken ever so often by a shuffling body, snoring, or maybe even sobbing. 

She found herself reaching for a glass and turning taps on to fill her container. But as she turned from the sink to drink, the figure appeared, and startled her. 'What are you doing up?' Jess asked.

The figure ignored her question. 'Did she ever tell you why she was in jail?' the figure begun, its voice incredibly monotonous.

Jess furrowed her eyebrows, wondering why she'd all of a sudden been asked this question. 'I…no…'

'Did she tell you that she killed an innocent so that she could go and work for a demon?'

Jess picked up her water. 'What?'

'Mmm. It's true, you know.' The figure took a step forward, into the streetlamps becoming light.

'Maybe you should try to get some sleep, Buffy. Got tough days ahead, huh.'

'She's evil. She tried to kill me. And not just me. She went for Will, Xander…Wes, you know him?'

Jess scrunched her forehead and headed out, now deliberately trying to avoid the questions, but she was stopped before she could escape.

'It'll be you next if you aren't careful,' the figure told her firmly. Jess looked over her shoulder.

'She wouldn't do that-'

'No? Why do you think everyone's always on their guard around her? She's dangerous; a killer, EVIL. How do you know she isn't working for the First?'

Jess turned to face the figure. 'Is this why you were so reluctant to let her come back here?'

* * *

Closer and closer. That was B and me. Can't say I'd ever expected it. Seemed she hated me when I first got back here, and I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd tried to finish off what I had started. 

But she didn't. Instead, she stretched out a hand to me when she kicked me down to the floor. And smiled at me.

We trained for hours. And I think the others knew to leave us alone. Even Jess backed off.

I tightened the bandage around her wrist, ever so often looking into her eyes to check it wasn't too tight around her hand. I wouldn't want it to be too tight.

We didn't talk so much. It was more her actions that communicated with me. And in truth, that was how it always had been. When she held me that other night. So much was running through my head, I can't imagine what was running through hers. When she reached out that hand to me as we sat out on the porch that night. So much. And then in her room. When I held her.

I can't say that it didn't feel great to be holding her again; I would be lying if I did. In truth, I missed it. I wanted it back, and now I had it.

I kicked her just a bit too hard, and she let out a cry of pain as she bumped into the wall, causing a few people to come to the basement door and ask us if we were alright. Kennedy, Amanda, Jess... The first two left when I sent a 'yes' up, thought Jess remained. I headed over to help her up, and she chuckled a little bit, still down on the floor.

'I think I need to stay down a moment longer…you near enough knocked me out there…'

I chuckled too and knelt down in front of her, taking the arm that had gotten sandwiched between the wall and herself. Just a scratch. I squinted as I looked at it, hoping it didn't hurt. 'Lemme look at it,' I mumbled to her and she outstretched it towards me.

'Don't you dare touch her…' I heard from the top of the stairs, looking over my shoulder quickly to check who it was.

I did as she said, though furrowed me eyebrows in anxiety. What had I done?

'It's all just a cover-up, isn't it? Tryin' to get her on your side again so you can get right in there and finish off the damage you started. Is that why you were so reluctant to come back?' she started as she moved down the stairs one by one.

'Jess, I…'

'Cos you were worried you'd wanna kill her even worse than you did the last time?'

'What are you talking about…' I begun to ask.

'I can't believe you even thought you could come back and put things right,' she sneered as she approached me, and I rose to my feet, and stood before her. 'She told me. Everything you did. Everything you tried to do.'

I squinted a little and glanced back at B.

'You tried to kill them all didn't you?' she asked, her voice a little more calm. 'Wesley, Buffy, Xander, Willow…'

I glanced back at Buffy, and her eyes had fallen to the ground.

'Is this true?'

Now I was stumped. I wasn't gonna lie to her. Of course not. But how could I tell her something that would made it okay? So I opened my mouth to speak, but realised that any words I told her wouldn't help. So I shrugged.

'_Why?_' she asked quietly.

'Jess…' I took a step towards her, though she flinched as I lifted an arm to her shoulder.

'Don't fucking well touch me,' she told me, glaring right at me. She turned her gaze to Buffy. 'Take care, and thanks.'

_Take care! _Where was she goin'? Back to LA? What the hell…?

I watched her turn from me and head towards the stairs, and I took a couple of steps forward to reach out to her, though I guess I made a wrong move cos next thing I know her fist was connecting with my face and I was down on the ground. I clutched my face with my hand and listened as her footsteps hurried up the stairs.

Buffy looked across at me. 'What's going on?'

* * *

Night came quickly and Jess made a stop at the Bronze, hoping to forget her troubles of the day that had just passed. She dropped her duffel bag in the car, took one last look at the house, and drove away. And ended up here. 

But as she danced, as she drunk, as she drowned her sorrows, she realized that everything she'd become was because she trusted in the one person she had left. Because she'd been guided, even after Gregory had been killed. And no amount of denying would change that for Jess.

She made an attempt to let her defences down and seriously forget everything. But again, the more she tried, the harder it was. And the itch that couldn't be scratched caused her to down more drinks than she knew she could handle.

She headed out of the back exit of the club, far more inebriated than she imagined she would get, and stumbled across her car. She tried to tell herself that she could drive, but she only had to press the accelerator too hard and she was being chased by cops.

Good thing I decided to take a walk. Honestly, I believed that she'd just gone out, and would come back later, not that she'd leave. Because we were in this together. Sure, we'd come to SunnyD for protection, but we'd also come together; I planned to keep it that way.

I noticed the unsteady car swerving aimlessly as it sped past me, and frowned, then gasped as I realized who was in it. My instincts were to run to catch it up, (I knew I'd have no chance at the speed she was goin') so I began running. But when the police sirens became louder and louder and rushed past me, I realized they were after her. Crap.

'How much have you been drinking, ma'am?' the officer asked calmly as Jess leant her head back on the headrest, practically knocked out.

'I have _not _been drinking…at all!' she said matter-of-factly, her words incredibly slurred, and blatantly incriminating.

As I ran to catch up, I saw two police officers handling her; one cuffing her, one frisking her. Damn. If they got her for something as little as drink-driving, they would for sure run her details through the computer and see that she's an escaped convict. I had to do something.

But as I approached the two officers I realized I had something to be afraid of. _I _was an escape convict, facing even higher and harder protection if they found out who I was. They begun to lead her away and I saw her gaze over at me, her eyelids narrowing when she realized who I was.

I don't blame her for hating me, but when I moved forward a few more steps to help her, her shaking her head kinda threw me off. She didn't _want _me to help her.

I watched them drive away in the police car, leaving behind the car she'd gotten out of.

* * *

I headed back to the house, replaying over and over in my head the events that had just happened before me. She made no struggle at all to get away from those officers. Did she _wanna _go back to prison? 

I explained the situation to B and she furrowed her eyebrows. 'Who told her all of this stuff?' she asked me as we both sat on her bed crossed legged and coffee mugs in hand.

I shrugged. I had no idea. 'Maybe Giles, or Willow?'

She shook her head. 'No, it wasn't, I asked them already. Could it be one of the potentials?'

'Maybe. I doubt it though. They barely knew who I was let alone anything about me. It's you they're all interested in.'

There was a short silence as her gaze fell and then she sucked in a tight breath.

'What?' I asked quietly.

She whispered something under her breath and put down the mug on the nightstand, and before I had a chance to figure out what she was doing she had disappeared and reappeared with a photograph in her hand.

I didn't understand what she was doing but even so, took the photograph that she handed to me and looked intently at it.

Fancy tombstone. Who's…? Buffy… I looked up at her and she nodded. 'They brought me back. So technically I'm still dead.' She rolled her eyes and shook her head before scratching it.

'So…okay, it's…it's nice to know some history but I don't get how…'

'The First materialises as any dead person it wants, depending on how it will affect the victim. I'm…technically, dead…so…'

'The First has the ability to materialise as _you._'

'It never occurred to me until you said that the potentials were interested in me. Not one of these potentials knew that I had died twice, and stayed dead the second time I died; so the first time was kinda like a time-out, but I was _actually _dead after I jumped into that vortex. But even so…if they had known, they probably wouldn't have realised that there could be an evil version of me pottering around planting nasty thoughts in people's heads.

'Jess didn't know that I had died twice either. And I'm judging by the conversation we had a couple of weeks ago that she didn't know too much about the First.'

'And who else to influence her than you,' I concluded, raising my eyebrows.

'Exactly.'

'We have to get her.'

'Well. You can't. You're a fugitive; exposing yourself to police officers is like putting the live bird into the cat's food bowl. And I can't go; I can't leave these girls when we're this close to reaching Caleb.'

'Maybe we can speak to Angel and Wes and they can bust her out?' I suggested.

'Well we're gonna have to try that, cos it's our only feasible option. They're minutes away from the penitentiary; we're hours. And we need to stay here to figure out what Caleb's next move might be, so we can fight back; or even better get him out of the way.'

'Alright, I'll call Wesley,' I decided, getting off the bed and crossing the room to the telephone. I looked over my shoulder briefly at her as she hopped off the bed and hurried downstairs.

* * *

**TBC (it feels so good to say that!)**


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